Choosing to SEE

I never have been a big book reader.  Every now and then, if a friend told me about a new book, I'd pick it up from the Library and try to read it, but would rarely get all the way through. I had too many TV shows to watch!  This year, I've caught the "reading" bug. (Maybe it has something to do with getting a Kindle for Christmas??) I decided if I'm going to take the time to read, I don't want to fill my mind with fictional stuff - I want to get something out from what I'm reading.  (No offense to all of my friends who love fiction.  At the right day and time, I'm sure I'll be looking for a good book to get lost in - just not right now.) 

It's amazing how each book I've read this year has contributed to me seeing some of God's big picture.  Each from different angles and perspectives, but each book has brought a piece of the puzzle to the table.  I'm starting to see what the image is, but there are still a lot of pieces missing, and I'm nearly in tears (happy / nervous / excited tears) to find out what the picture will eventually become.  Let me tell you about the books.

The first book I downloaded on my Kindle came at a recommendation of a friend, "Kisses from Katie." I knew it was about a girl from TN who went to Africa on a mission trip, ended up falling in love so much with Africa and UGANDA, and the orphaned children there, that she stayed.  What I didn't know is how much the book would grab my heart.  Katie's pure love and dedication to the children that she came across was captivating, and intriguing.  I specifically remember thinking after finishing her book, "Wow - I want to find something that would captivate me and I would completely fall in love with."

After finishing "Kisses from Katie", I downloaded "The Circle Maker" - another recommended book by a co-worker. I really had no idea what the book was about, but I figured I'd take the chance and read it.  This book grabbed me by the pants and shook me till I cried, in a good way!  I can't remember the last time I highlighted so much information in a book.  The premise of "The Circle Maker" is praying circles around your dreams.  You can't just pray once and expect God to give you the answer to your prayer. And you can't give up either.  You have to keep praying, and in God's time, if it's His will, he'll answer the prayer.  Not neccesarily how you wanted it, but God will answer it. 

Mark Batterson, the author of The Circle Maker, wowed me enough with his book, that the next book I downloaded was another book by him titled "Soul Print."  It was about figuring out who God wants you to be - what your divine destiny is.  Another thought provoking book that left me wondering, "What is my divine destiny?  Am I doing what God wants me to be doing?"

The fourth book this year was "Two Kisses for Maddy" a memoir about a father raising his daughter after the tragic death of his wife during childbirth.  While the language was a bit rough, the raw emotion that was captured in the book was unreal.  I cried and cried.  I can't even begin to think how he felt - he gained a beautiful daughter, but lost his beautiful wife.  I get choked up just thinking about that book.

While at an event for work last Thursday, I saw a book on the counter of the church bookstore that I've seen a few other places and decided to look into it.  A few friends raved about the book, and when I noticed that one of my favorite authors, Donald Miller, wrote the foreword for the book, I figured I would give it a try.  The book, "Love Does" was amazing.  I couldn't put it down.  I ended up finishing it in two nights.  I highlighted many sections and quotes - all important comments or thoughts I didn't want to forget.  I think I made the comment to a co-worker that the book lit me on fire.  It was entertaining, facinating, but most importantly, shared the Gospel in such a way, anyone could relate.  Each of the chapters had me on the edge of my couch waiting to see how the author, Bob Goff, would pull his story back to God.  The illustrations he used were perfect.  But what caught me attention the most, was about the ministry Bob created "Restore International" - a ministry in UGANDA that finds ways to restore justice to children and the poor.  How Bob and his team, were able to go into places like Uganda, and give children who otherwise would have never been able to go before a court and plead their case, the oppourtunity to do so, and have justice rightfully restored to them, was a gift from God.  Really!

"Love Does" set my heart on fire so I had to find another book to read that would keep the fire going.  I was looking through the books our local library had available for the Kindle and found MaryBeth Chapman's book "Choosing To See."  I've come across this book countless times, but never had the desire to read it.  For some reason this time, I did.  I knew the book was partially about dealing with the loss of their 5 year old adopted daughter, Maria. I downloaded it and couldn't wait to get home and start reading it.

I'm not sure when Mike and I first started talking about the possibility of adopting a child one day, but it was one of those things that I remember we both feel called to do at some point.  We have numerous friends that have adopted, both domestic and international.  We both are firm believers in the Scripture where it says: "Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you." (James 1:27 NLT)  I had always said that when it's our time, I don't want to adopt international - there are thousands upon thousands of children right here in the United States who desperately need homes.  Kids right in our own backyards.  And Mike agreed.

While reading "Choosing To See" I fell in love with the Chapmans story of how they came to adopt their 3 daughters from China, and how they started Show Hope, a ministry that works with people and organizations to bring to light the issues surrounding orphans (the need for food, shelter, care, spiritual nourishment) and their lack of a family. What I wasn't expecting while reading the book was for God to grab my attention.  Once again, here's a book talking about caring for orphaned children or those less fortuante, but there's also mention of UGANDA!  The third book this year that's mentioned Uganda.  I can't help but ask, "God, what do you want me to see?"

Does God want Mike and I to see that He's opening doors and wants us to adopt an orphan from Uganda and not the United States?  (Honestly, Mike and I always said the US because there are kids here, but it's also much lesser expensive.  I know that's no reason to stay away from international adoption, but I'm just being honest.)  Does God want Mike to pick pediatric nursing when he's done with school next May so he can help little kids?  Does God want Mike and I to get involved with a ministry to help orphans? WHAT DO YOU WANT US TO SEE, GOD????

I've been wrestling with that since I finished the book last night.  Today, I put a post on Facebook asking for reccomendations for the next book to read.  I didn't expect such a big response!  There were many, many reccomendations.  A lot were fiction but there were two that caught my eye.  One was about ADOPTION, and another talked about UGANDA!

I haven't decided which book I'm going to read next.  I've read books about orphans, books about praying for your dreams and finding out what God wants us to do with our lives, books about a father's love for his child, books about showing love to others, and books about love for a family (natural and adopted) through thick and thin.  All I know is I'm choosing to SEE what God wants Mike and I to see... and maybe that does involve adopting from Uganda one day.  Maybe involves something else.  Only God knows, and I can't wait to find out.